jquery:on\nhash:off\nbookmark:on\nmodernizr:off\nundo:on\nobfuscate:off\nexitprompt:off\nblankcss:off\n

"Wait, what the--" Alysa gags, then vomits all over your crotch. Why the fuck would you do that? That's gross. Try again.\n

She likes your encouragement and sucks you even harder. But then the room is engulfed in a blinding white light.\n\nYou both look up. Standing there is another Alysa, clothed in her pajamas.\n\n"I'm from the future," she says. "And in there, Joe's about to be a total dick by leaving you to go give something to Jon. He doesn't deserve this."\n\nThe present Alysa seems to agree. "What?!" you protest. But the two girls are already in the bathroom, examining each other's backsides.\n\n"I've always wanted to see it from this angle!"\n\n"True that, sister!"\n\nYou whine, your dick still hard. But that's what you get for leaving me, jerkface.\n

The blinds go up and the light of the moon covers your bed. Alysa bites down on your dick, tearing it clean off. You scream. Your rampant were-girlfriend howls, springing off your bed and out the door. She escapes the house and never returns.\n\nYears later, in an unexpected time of financial struggle, you move back to your Jacksonville home. When you pull into the driveway and get out of your car, the first thing you see is Rodney...\n\n...being humped by your were-girlfriend.\n\n"Oh, god!" you exclaim, covering your eyes. The canines ejaculate. If only you'd never opened the blinds. Try again.

You head back to the room with the Canada Drys and on the way there you can hear that Alysa is watching some sort of silly video made by British boys. You roll your eyes, and [[open the door]].

"Honk!" you say. Alysa pulls away from you, a look of disgust on her face. You're a respectful boyfriend, not a character from Kill la Kill. Try again.\n

"Keep salivating"? Who the fuck are you, Pavlov's dog? Try again.

"Someone's horny," Alysa says, smirking. You nod. She pulls you onto the bed, takes off your boxers and begins to suck your cock. You...\n\n[[moan, and put your hands on her head.]]\n\n[[feel so good that you cum in her mouth.]]\n\n[[pull open the blinds to reveal a full moon.]]

Me\n

Your girlfriend is on your bed wearing nothing but your Passion Pit t-shirt. She's watching the TV, lying on her stomach and her ass is exposed. You set the drinks down on the plastic drawer. Alysa makes a happy noise and scurries over to open hers. Now you can see her shaved pussy. You feel your penis erecting and look down at your jeans. You...\n\n[[smile smugly and take your pants off.]]\n\n[[think of old ladies and My Little Ponies to make your boner go away.]]\n

Alysa grins at the buldge in your plaid boxers and takes off the Passion Pit tee. "Even though I'm the only one qualified to wear this shirt," she teases. But you have no idea what she said. You are salivating at the sight of her round, gorgeous tits. You...\n\n[[grab your dick in your hand and massage it, up and down.]]\n\n[[keep salivating.]]\n\n[[put your hands forward, grabbing her boobs.]]\n\n

Why would you want your boner to go away? Your smoking hot girlfriend is right there waiting to accept your genitalia! \n\nBesides, thinking of Rainbow Dash just made your dick harder, you fucking clopper. Try again.